This is a excerpt from the Just Boobs Project book. These are real women, their thoughts and feelings, their breasts.
I really enjoyed being pregnant and my boobs getting all luscious and big. I’ve always been kind of small between an A and a B. When i was pregnant I went all the way up to a D. I really enjoyed luscious boobies with pregnancy and nursing. Now That I’m not pregnant or nursing anymore and I’m a little bit older and the skin has gone down its a little bit sad to me to be loosing the shape of my breasts and to have them not be perky and what they once were. That is the part around aging i hadn’t thought about or taken into consideration before and sometimes it just hits me and i miss them. But then they are still there and still work and are a wonderful, fun sexy part of my anatomy. I have all of this gratitude and love for my breasts and that i nursed both of my babies full term until they were four. The service they provided makes it all worth it and that should be enough and not have any critical thoughts about them. Some people will refer to breasts that have nursed as deflated and thats how it feels. It feels deflating. There is loose skin at the top and they feel like there’s no mass. Like Wow, there is this part of me that felt so full and vibrant and now the air or the juice has gone out. But not really. I am still totally juicy and they are there but they look so different. And that can sometimes be bittersweet.
I’m a pretty a’u natural girl. I can get dolled up with the best of them but I tend to be on the side of no augmentation but the thought has crossed my mind in the last year since they have deflated. If it wasn’t so extensive and such a huge barbaric thing to get my breasts back to what they were i would consider it. Because as a woman there is an identity with your breasts. Your breasts become a certain way and they are out there for everyone to see.
They don’t feel any different. Actually they might feel even more sensitive or erotic and that is a change for the better. Since I’m done nursing they are only there for my pleasure. While i was nursing i didn’t want anyone touching me on my boobs. Now i am enjoying them more and so is my husband. In terms of visually i really do have a little struggle going on with accepting what my body looks like now. They’re not what they were before breastfeeding and definitely not what they were while i was nursing either. On my good days I want to say I don’t struggle with Self image and body image but I kind of have always had body image issues and have felt like maybe I wasn’t measuring up. It cracks me up that at 44 when I’m more secure in my life than any other time the thought of augmentation has entered my brain. Where as before I could never understand why anyone would want to change their breasts or go through that. I still can’t imagine actually going through it, spending the money or doing something that drastic to my body yet the thought occurs that I would love to have my perky boobs back. So it is interesting. It’s certainly not a simple topic of , oh yes here is the story. Its a big mix. A mix of gratitude for what they have done and missing how they were. Also Appreciating them in a new way now that they are just for pleasure and aren’t serving the purpose of feeding my children and they are more pleasurable now than they have ever been and that is good. Thats the icing on the cake.
I looked good pregnant. If i could just get a glimmer of that or feel that way about myself and feel full acceptance of where I am now with my body by remembering what it was like to be in that body at that time that feels good. I have those pictures beside my bed because I felt beautiful and luscious then and I want that for myself now.