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If I could feel more comfortable in society not wearing a bra, I wouldn’t – Just Boobs Project

Fort Wayne positive body image

This is a excerpt from the Just Boobs Project book. These are real women, their thoughts and feelings, their breasts.

After I had my third child, about twelve years ago, my breasts tripled in size. I went from just under a 34C to a 34DD, and that was after they had gone down a little bit. Even after I stopped nursing for a long time, at least a year, I was still pretty big. They were just huge. I was in pain, and frustrated, and having to deal with all the challenges that go along with having big breasts. I got to the point where I wanted to get a reduction.

I had a pamphlet from a clinic on my mirror and I would look at it everyday and try to manifest the possibility of having the procedure. I went to a surgeon to see if my insurance would cover at least half of it. His comment to me was, “Why would you want that?” “They’re so big and that’s what most women want.” “All we need to do is lift them, so, we can take off your nipples and raise them up to here that’s really all you need.” I was offended. I said, “No, I’m in pain and I always have these marks on my shoulders”. So anyway, I didn’t want to go back to him. I was still trying to manifest it but I was getting discouraged and over the course of the next few years I just learned to live with it.

I think I was still morning my pre-birth body. Once I became comfortable being a mother and recognized that my larger breasts were just a new phase, I didn’t want to change myself so badly that I would have surgery to do it.

They did go down to a more manageable size, years later, after I lost weight. Eventually, after six years, they have returned to a 34C, which is still bigger than I want them to be. But you know what? I love them.

My breasts are still fairly large, they’re uncomfortable, I’m really hard to shop for because I’m short. That creates this whole size and shape issue that is just so challenging. I need therapy after shopping. [she laughs] It’s the worst thing ever to shop for a bra. To find one that fits properly and doesn’t hurt or feels like a shield of armer. At least I don’t have to wear one to bed anymore, because I was definitely in that place at one time.

I think that if I could feel more comfortable in society not wearing a bra, I wouldn’t wear one. But it’s just not that comfortable… and yet, I still love my breasts just as they are.

 

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